But first: Glenn Beck is leaving his show? Fox News started by conservative nostradamus and Billionaire Rupert Murdoch announced yesterday that his epic love affair with the Glenn-meister... alas-- was finally over. According to inside sources Murdock told Beck, "it's not you, it's me." The conservative couple tenderly embraced, and prepared for Beck's departure. But never fear-- even though they will now be seeing other people, the terrible twosome say they will do their best to work together-- if only for the sake of the kids.
In other gay news, Cindy Jacobs who earlier this year blamed flocks of dead birds falling from the sky on the repeal of don't ask don't tell, made it clear that the tsunami and volcanoes in japan are the fault of the gays too.
Damn those gays who wont they kill next? Volcanoes. Radiation. Its not fair. They're killing everyone. The gays want to bring the end of days. God damn you gays! And John Boehner still hates Barack Obama. See you in hell douche bags!